Rough

I have been wanting to blog for months. I have been following all my regulars, but with a deployed husband and 5 MSC running the roost, I've simply lost all time... Until Tuesday... That day changed a lot. I have always had high risk pregnancies and been on bed rest. This time was a little different. I have been on bed rest for several weeks. This week, though, things changed. I got up from a usual nap in the middle of the day to use the bathroom, little did I know that would change everything. I felt a gush and next thing I knew I was in pools of blood. Placental abruption. The doctors warned me of this. I didn't realize that it would actually happen to me... I've seen it on ER (remember the series) as well as other tv series... by not me! I rushed to the hospital where I was met with 5 nurses and 3 doctors all in a recovery bay (there was a baby boom that night and no rooms available) I was being asked 100's of questions, being poked, proded, you name it... good news... They got the bleeding stopped... the bad news, this is my new residence for the next however many weeks until they absolutely have to deliver Baby N... She still has no name... :(

I have been on Magnesium Sulfate, Indocin (to stop contracting), multiple IV lines, multiple steroid shots to develop her lungs, 2 blood transfusions, and on and on and on. They finally began to listen to me that I needed something for my anxiety, it has helped tremendously. They have been giving me things to sleep as it is not very good for me to be without sleep not knowing when or how this little girl will be entering into this world.

I have met with the Anesthesia team who have gone over options. They definitelty will try to grant my wishes as far as anesthesia, but only time will tell.

Next the high risk team came in and basically said day by day. IF the baby is ok and momma is stable, no delivery, the moment one of those things change... Little miss will be here!

Finally the Neonatal team arrived... their news was direct and probably the most scary. Yes knowing you are 28 and likely to have a hysterectomy doesn't sit easy, BUT that is minimal in comparrison to the fact that your baby will be tubed and put on a vent for a minimum of two weeks, then moved to a CPAP machine. From there we will ultrasound her brain daily to make sure the blood vessels are closing.  Your child runs the risk of being blind, having cerebral palsay, etc. etc. etc. All things you read about. All reality, but now it's our reality. Risks later in life also play factor.

We are residing in the best hospital in the state and if you read a lot of the research, one of the best in the country, BUT when its in your baby, it makes things so much harder...

All this being said, the next few weeks I'll be using this page to journal our "adventure", our new life as a family with I'm pretty sure what will be a premie... I'm not being discharged until delivery.

God Bless!

Amanda!